Gears of War Lore In A Minute

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The Belgian prize cattle of Gears of War stampede into this Gears of War Lore that covers the backstory up to GoW3. Gears of ... Lore?

Subscribe for New Lore every Wednesday!

Art by D.J. "metaly" Ross
http://www.youtube.com/vghangover
http://www.vghangover.com

Written by GameBoyardee
http://www.youtube.com/GameBoyardee

Voiced by Gears of War Commentators
LikeButtersBack
http://www.youtube.com/likebuttersback
&
WhiteBoyBeBallin
http://www.youtube.com/whiteboybeballin

Edited by Schroeder
htt... View MoreThe Belgian prize cattle of Gears of War stampede into this Gears of War Lore that covers the backstory up to GoW3. Gears of ... Lore?

Subscribe for New Lore every Wednesday!

Art by D.J. "metaly" Ross
http://www.youtube.com/vghangover
http://www.vghangover.com

Written by GameBoyardee
http://www.youtube.com/GameBoyardee

Voiced by Gears of War Commentators
LikeButtersBack
http://www.youtube.com/likebuttersback
&
WhiteBoyBeBallin
http://www.youtube.com/whiteboybeballin

Edited by Schroeder
http://www.youtube.com/TheWarpZone

Are you JAMMIN' on TGS?
http://www.thegamestation.tv
http://www.facebook.com/thegamestation
http://www.twitter.com/tgstation

TRANSCRIPT:

"Welcome to the planet Sera, where everything's gone to shit and the men are muscle-bound like Belgian prize cattle. So here's the deal: fourteen years ago, the Locust decided to emerge from the ground in a day we call -- wait for it -- Emergence Day. They started f**king s**t up, but keep in mind that this is actually their planet and the humans are the invaders which basically means, yep, WE'RE THE BAD GUYS.

You are Marcus Fenix and you wear a do-rag. This is your buddy, Dom. Together, you are Delta Squad, a team of 400 pound men who are the only useful component in an entire army. In the first game, you have to take this thing called a resonator that - wait for it -- resonates, but then it doesn't really resonate, so you just have to kill everyone. You set off a lightmass bomb, kill a general named RAAM, blah blah blah, lo and behold, it turns out this didn't really do much at all, because come on, there are two more games left in this trilogy.

So Gears 2 starts and everything has gone more to shit, and, to top it all off, it turns out the Locust are being run by a Queen who as far as we can tell is Dame Judy Dench. So there's that. For the sake of level design variety, but for no discernable tactical edge whatsoever, you drill down into the ground to fight the Locust on their own turf. You pew pew for a while and then hey, you're back on the surface.

You fight some Locust in a crazy laboratory where it seems like there might be some story but the big twist -- wait for it -- is that there isn't! So you go back underground, where you learn that some of the Locust have become Lambent—a new and exciting enemy that looks like the Locust, talks like the Locust, shoots like the Locust, but get this...they explode!

So you flood the Locust tunnels by destroying Jacinto, the one last remaining human stronghold on the entire planet, because that makes perfect sense....
And of course, it didn't work because nothing you do ever works and also because, hey, Gears of War 3.

Have fun."